Here's a piece I wrote for a baby boomer's blog.

It's a funny twist to what women have to look forward to one day!

Hot Flashes

Now I know I’m supposed to treat hot flashes like a visiting relative; dropping in un-expectedly and staying for however long we both agree they can stay, (as if either of us knows the answer to that one!).  But I am determined to get ahead of the curve, you see, I made a list! That’s right; I have a list of things I need to do to welcome my hot flash cousin with open arms.  So let’s see: soy is supposed to ease if not negate the symptoms that come with hot flashes, exercise, the cure-all to everything! Wow! Meditation and relaxation, how can I? I’m worried about the door bell ringing in the middle of the night. You know that’s when she comes don’t you? 

Ok, back to the list. Hmmm, yes, loose fitting clothes, did ANYONE have to tell me that?  That came with the 15 pounds I gained in expectation of the visit! Not funny?  Ok, back to the list, AGAIN!  Food, yummy!  I like food! What? Tofu?  Yuck! What time is my cousin due to arrive?  I think I can wait a bit on the food thing.  Oh yeah, ice-cream, that IS  food! Plus it’s cold and we did say hot flashes didn’t we?  No, I can’t swim, ha, ha! You are quite the jokester!  But a nice hot, oops, don’t open the door too soon! A nice warm evening in the whirlpool with candle lights, aromatherapy and maybe the 39 year old CPA that does my taxes. Did I say that out loud?  I did hear somewhere that if you play young, you stay young! And everyone knows cousin hot flash doesn’t come until she thinks you’ve settled-down and started counting the winkles around your eyes!

So now I need to add some preventative aging items to the list.  Yeah, let’s throw old hot flash a curve ball! So here’s the NEW list:  hair coloring, retinal A, mud-bath, belly-dancing lessons, well maybe not, have to show my belly for that one! How about a navel ring?  Folks surely got to think I’m young if I go that far! Either that or they’ll think I went too far to the left.  Either way, I’m ahead of the game! Think young, right. Let’s see; green tea, no, red wine, no, pomegranate juice, oh, what the heck, oh yeah, beet juice! That’s supposed to keep things nice and tight, and if it’s tight, no one can get in too easily! But does that work for flashes; does it?  How about flash dancing?  Is dancing considered exercise?  Let’s file that under undecided.

Now where were we? I know, I’ll ditch the eye glasses for some contact lens, try some three-inch stilettos, get a tattoo in an undisclosed place and finally for the grand finale get on the back of a Harley with my bottom blowing in the wind showing off my new shoe-string, I meant thong!   What? A baby?  Are you kidding? Yes, I still have my period, and yes, I know I still need to be careful, and no, I’m not on the pill; why should I be, I almost forgot . . . let’s not go there!  Hold on, I think I hear the doorbell.  Guess who?  

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And that's the WRIGHT WREPORT!

Don't forget to watch Cable television talk show called ALL ABOUT CHICAGO!